Drunk & Disorderly: Chicken and Rice

Well.

Tyson is on the Clean Cleanse (that I purchased and subsequently let rot on top of my fridge in fancy canisters). This means that I am trying to help him craft his daily meal out of a limited number of ingredients. Obviously, baked goods are off the list so I'm attempting to make real food.

My fear of cooking real food is probably why I decided to go to dinner with friends and then to a bar - only to find myself loping home through the slushy snow completely drunk at midnight with an odd motivation to make soup.

Do not ask me what is in this soup, I have no idea. I chopped up some random things like onions, radishes, uhhh.... the list gets fuzzy. I also used a brown rice blend because it looked pretty.

Here are some pictures of my drunken adventure, I went to bed around 2am and the soup was a great hit. I should drink more often, I am impressed that I remembered to take pictures!

Stick a fork in me, I'm done

Here is all the food I made for my holiday party. Sweets include the aforeposted mendiants and Mexican wedding cakes/Russian tea cakes, ahem, snowballs, as well as brownies and toffee squares. Savories include a LOT of cheese straws (what is pictured is only about half of what I made), pesto puff pastry pinwheels, spinach and cannellini bean dip and baba ganoush.

Not pictured are (is?) the vast quantities of bourbon milk punch I made. I am really into punch for parties - like bundt cakes, punch seems a little retro but I find it really quite festive.

What to do when a recipe doesn't work out

These were supposed to be vanillekipferl, or vanilla crescents. After I'd mixed up the dough and floured a cutting board to roll them out... I realized that they were NOT going to be able to be rolled into a cylinder at all as the dough was too loose and dry. Sure, I could've added a bit of water or milk to the batter to make it hold together. Instead, I decided to make them into balls rather than crescents, and now they're Mexican wedding cakes, also known as Russian tea cakes, amongst a plethora of other names, such as snowballs, the latter of which is fitting given that we're in the holiday season and whatnot.

Ta Ta Cookies....!

Yes, this is a photo dump.

They are finished, wrapped, and heading out. I am so glad to be getting rid of all of these cookies, the dogs are also glad that they can go in the kitchen again.

I'm not 100% satisfied with any/all of the cookies - I think that they taste a little blah, but I typically don't like crispy cookies at all. The chocolate sugar cookies are the worst of the bunch, and the Christmas trees are probably the most delicious (they have the best frosting).

Hopefully they will be eaten and enjoyed by SOMEONE out there, or 12 someones...

Weird Little People

Artistic? Ehhhh...

And so it begins...

I can't let M do all the sweet-making around here. Now that classes are over, I've been busy figuring out what to make for a holiday party I'm throwing later this week. First to be made, primarily because they can be made well-ahead of time, are mendiants. A mendiant is a chocolate disk traditionally decorated with nuts and dried fruits representing the four monastic (or mendicant - in French this is mendiant, hence the name) orders, with the colors of the fruits/nuts corresponding to the colors of their different robes: raisins for the Dominicans, hazelnuts for the Augustins, dried figs for the Franciscians, and almonds for the Carmelites.

However, you don't have to adhere to the traditional toppings - you can use nearly anything in your pantry to decorate the mendiants. I didn't have dried figs or hazelnuts, so subbed in dried cranberries and pistachios instead. But you don't have to be limited to dried fruits and nuts - a sprinkling of fleur de sel would be nice, maybe even cocoa nibs or small chunks of cookies. You just want to make sure that the toppings aren't too large, because otherwise the chocolate disk won't support them.

These mendiants are basically a win-win. They're ridiculously easy to make and adaptable for so many purposes. Also, people love them - I packaged them nicely one year in little clear candy bags and added a label describing their origins - and the recipients oohed and aahed. Not bad for a wee bit of melted chocolate.

Mendiants
Chocolate (don't use crappy chocolate, because you can't hide it in this recipe)
Toppings (see above for ideas - let your imagination go wild!)

I know, that isn't much of an ingredient list. This, also, isn't going to be so much of a set of instructions.

Melt your chocolate in a double boiler, or, a steel bowl over a pot of boiling water. Do make sure that no water gets into the chocolate, that the water doesn't actually touch the bowl (you just want the heat of the steam to melt the chocolate), and that you don't get any water into the chocolate. Okay, that was the most complicated that this recipe gets.

There is a process called tempering chocolate. I don't really do this, because I'm lazy (I know, I say this a lot, and it's because it's true) and it involves figuring out temperatures and stuff. I usually don't add the chocolate to be melted all at once, but do it in stages. I think this helps. For instance, I used one of of those huge pound-plus chocolate bars from Trader Joe's, broke it apart into about eight or so pieces, and only melted a couple at a time.

Line cookie sheets with parchment paper. I use two - while one chills in the fridge, I work on the other sheet. Oh yes, also clear enough room in your fridge so that you can cool a batch while you work on the other.

When your chocolate is melted, make your chocolate disks. I use about 1/2-2/3rds of a tablespoon of chocolate, drizzle it in a pile on the parchment paper, and smooth it into a flatter disk shape with the back of the spoon. How much chocolate you decide to use is up to you and how big you want your chocolate disks to be. I personally think that they should be small enough to be eaten in one or two bites. Also, make sure to not make your disks too thin - if you do, then they won't be able to hold the toppings and they'll be more likely to break.

Make about 3-4 disks at a time, and then decorate with your desired toppings. Repeat until you have run out of room on the cookie sheet. Then put that sheet in the fridge to allow the chocolate to harden and work on filling your other cookie sheet.

The mendiants are ready to take off the cookie sheets when they can be removed easily from the parchment paper. If you have to force them, they're not ready yet. Stick them back in the fridge and wait. It really doesn't take that long.

When they are ready to be removed, you can store them in a container, separated by layers of parchment paper or wax paper, and keep them in the fridge until you're ready to serve them.

This makes as much as you want to make. I know, real specific there. Sorry! It depends on how much chocolate you use and how big you make your chocolate disks. If it helps, a pound of chocolate makes about 80-or-so mendiants.

Even Louise is tired.

I did not take pictures of my Christmas tree cookies because I stopped caring somewhere around 9pm. Baking 300ish cookies in one day is a BAD idea. Okay, it is sort of a wonderful idea, but not something I can recommend doing unless you've got unlimited coffee or are suffering from a manic episode. On the plus side, I did get to listen to music all day and harass the dogs.

Louise somehow got flour all over her face, she's a dream.

A respite from the sugar

(... and also a brief respite from writing.)

When it gets cold, I like to make hearty soups and stews. One of my favorites is lentil soup. My Platonian ideal of lentil soup is a version I used to have all the time in college at Ocean's, a coffee shop sadly no longer in existence (I don't think I can find the bricks-and-mortar version of it, although they are still apparently selling coffee). I remember little about the specifics at this point, just that it was warm and lovely and filling. The recipe below is the closest approximation I've been able to come to this memory of lentil soup.

By the way, if you like making soup that uses mirepoix (equal amounts of chopped celery, onion, and carrots), but really really hate buying a whole bunch of celery to use only one or two stalks, Trader Joe's has a very conveniently prepackaged mirepoix. It is a life-saver, because not only is one container enough for a batch of soup (AND you don't have to spend hours chopping up vegetables because you don't feel like washing your food processor, see the previous incident with squash, but you don't have to figure out what to do with lots of leftover celery (besides eating it with peanut butter).

Lentil Soup with Sausage
Adapted from Simply Recipes and the Barefoot Contessa

1/4 cup olive oil
1 container mirepoix from Trader Joe's (okay, fine, equal parts chopped celery, onion, and carrot - probably about 1 cup of each)
1 teaspoon ground cumin
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 pound brown lentils, rinsed and picked over (I know that some prefer the de Puy lentils. I usually do, but in this particular recipe only the regular ol' brown ones will do for me)
4 cups chicken stock
2 cups water
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme, or a handful fresh thyme
1 bay leaf
1/4 cup tomato paste
1 pound kielbasa sausage, cut in half lengthwise and sliced 1/3-inch thick
2 tablespoons dry red wine or red wine vinegar
salt and pepper

Heat a large pot over medium heat. Add the olive oil, and when it is warm, add the mirepoix and cumin. Cook until the vegetables are softened, stirring frequently to keep the mixture from burning. This takes about 5-7 minutes. Add the garlic and cook a little more until nice and fragrant, but make sure to keep the garlic from burning.

Add the lentils, stock, water, thyme, and bay leaf. If you are lazy like me, you can throw the entire stalks of thyme into the pot, and fish out the woodsy stems later. Add a teaspoon of salt and some pepper, but don't go overboard at this point because you'll season the soup later (also, you don't know how salty the sausage will make the soup, so it's better to err on the side of caution now). Bring the soup to a boil, then lower the heat, cover the pot, and let simmer for about 30-40 minutes or so, or until the lentils are tender.

When the lentils are tender, add the kielbasa and red wine/red wine vinegar, and let the sausage heat through. Taste the soup at this time, and then season with salt and pepper (and perhaps a bit more red wine/red wine vinegar) to taste.

Serve warm. This keeps amazingly well, and makes enough soup for about 4-6 people. Or just one or two, if you're willing to eat it for nearly all of your meals for several days.

Marching on!

My feet hurt.

I'm not sure how I feel about these chocolate sugar cookies. They do have a good chocolate taste, but they are sort of crispy. Then again, I always forget that Christmas/Holiday cookies aren't really very soft and chewy usually -- they tend to be crispier and frosted (frosting fiasco begins tomorrow).

The boxes I am sending out will each have 24 cookies, 6 of each flavor. So far I am finished baking the gingerbread men and the chocolate sugar cookies... halfway there!

Building the Army

Stage 1: Victory

The mixing is complete.

Minus the fact that my refrigerator is disgustingly dirty, I am relieved to see that I have every type of cookie mixed together and chilling overnight. Tomorrow is a new day, a day of frustration, rolling pins, and an audience of drooling dogs.

I'm not sure how many cookies I am going to get out of this huge pile of dough, but I am looking forward to creating a giant mess tomorrow. Yes, I will take more pictures.

Busy.

What happens when I get one simple idea? I make a huge project out of it.

I'm making cookies for a few of our friends (okay - I started with a list of 4, now I am up to 11 cookie boxes/presents... whatever the hell).

I'm doing four types of cookies in three shapes.

Stars - almond sugar cookies and chocolate sugar cookies

Gingerbread Men - obvious

Christmas Trees - plain sugar cookies


No big deal, right? Well, I am a moron and decided to make my own frosting, bake all of the cookies, decorate them, package them, etc. I can't even really figure out how many cookies I need yet - and I may run out of the gingerbread men. If I run out of the gingerbread men I will be sad and so will the person (people?) who receive packages lacking gingerbread yumminess.


Other things I've discovered today:

Making and decorating cut out cookies in large batches requires approximately 3 days. I hate refrigerating dough, what a painful waiting experience. And then - cooling cookies? Allowing frosting to dry? gah.

If you are my friend and not Jen (who will get cookies) and you are NOT getting cookies, I am sorry in advance. I was doing fine until Tyson caught wind of my cookie plans and added some of his work friends (3) to the mix.

My rebuttal

I know that M bemoans the fact that I actually prefer cooking real food, as opposed to baking all of the time. Here are my reasons why:

• I wouldn't be able to blog if I baked all the time because my fingers would be too fat to type as I would be too fat from ingesting all the baked goods I'd make.
• Sugar makes me crazy. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love it, but it makes me crazy. (An even more awesome combination? Me on caffeine and sugar.)
• Also, I crave salt. Salt and vinegar chips or brownies? The former wins nearly every time.
• Baking requires precision and trust. You need to make sure that the ratios are correct, put your creation in the oven, and hope that it tastes good when it comes out. With cooking, the majority of the time you get to tinker with your dish until it comes out just the way you want it.

Don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean that I don't or won't bake. I do enjoy baking; I just don't bake as often as I cook. And it just means that M is going to have to put up with the ocassional real food post if I'm to blog at all.

You (okay, I) really want this

I know that this blog is supposed to be about our cooking/baking and ramblings, but I just could not pass this up.

What is it, you ask? A macaron stand from Ercuis. Wouldn't it make a darling present, along with a box of macarons? I mean, look at that picture on the right. I don't think anyone's life can be complete without one. And you don't even have to use it solely for macarons - petit fours or truffles, for instance, would be quite nice also.

Even better than a macaron stand with a box of macarons? A macaron stand with a monthly shipment of macarons. Or even better yet - a weekly shipment of macarons. Yes. I think that hits the spot.

(Picture on the left from Artedona, picture on the right taken from the December 2010 issue of Harper's Bazaar.)

Excuses

Jen cooks real food, I do not.

Apparently that makes me a little weird for a variety of reasons, but I just can't make myself toss healthy ingredients into a pan or get excited about cooking real food.

Baking, on the other hand, is awesome. Somewhere between spilling flour on the floor, teasing the dogs with spatulas, and obsessing over measurements, I find myself having fun. I get no such pay off with cooking, and I rarely make an effort while tossing together a dinner.

Jen has a variety of excuses for baking less than cooking, so I am always trying to find reasons to give up real food and give in to the cookie.

Her reasons:

- baking makes you fat if baked goods stay in the house

- professionally inappropriate to constantly bring baked goods to the office

- she does not like candy and sugar and ridiculous fatty-ness as much as I do.



I believe that Jen could easily feed the squirrels in the park a large variety of baked goods, or she could abandon baked goods in the common areas of her condo building. Apparently these ideas are not good enough... I'm still searching.

Ugly & Delicious

First, I have to admit I did not have the appropriate tools to make these hideous pumpkin cookies. I'm guessing if I had actually piped them out onto my parchment paper they would have turned out much better...

I also have to admit that I care far more about pictures and random ramblings than I do about recipes. I'm debating whether or not to post this one, ah... maybe later.

CAKE AT LAST!

It's not the best picture I've ever taken.... but this was an intense, fudge-y, bourbon-y cake.

Put the emphasis on BOURBON. I  made this for a work party, and everyone's reaction? "HOW MUCH RUM DID YOU PUT IN THIS CAKE?" After I told people that it was bourbon, their reaction then was, "HOW MUCH BOURBON DID YOU PUT IN THIS CAKE?"

It was still good, if alcohol-y. It's not really recommended for children - I don't know if the alcohol in the bourbon bakes off, but it definitely does not taste like it does. Make this cake the night before you are going to serve it, if possible, to let the flavors meld. I like to make bundt cakes for parties because people rarely make them anymore. They are festive! You do, however, have to be willing to be sad if your cake doesn't come cleanly out of the pan, as happened to mine above. Don't worry, it makes it more "real-looking" and doesn't detract at all from the taste.

(If you are really self-conscious about it, just make sure you're the first one to serve yourself cake, and take the messed-up part.)

You know, I didn't even sprinkle the cake with more bourbon, as was suggested in the recipe. I can't imagine the reaction had I done so.

Bourbon Chocolate Cake

adapted from Simply Recipes, who got it from the New York Times

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened, plus more for greasing pan
2 cups all-purpose flour, more for dusting pan
5 ounces high quality, unsweetened dark chocolate
1/4 cup instant espresso
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder (use the good stuff!)
1 cup bourbon whiskey, more for sprinkling (I used 1 cup of Makers Mark. It elicited the reaction above. I think I'd use anywhere from 1/2-3/4 cup the next time I make this.)
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
2 cups granulated sugar
3 large eggs
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 cup confectioners’ sugar (powdered sugar), for sprinkling

Preheat the oven to 325°F. Grease and flour a bundt pan. Or, get that baking spray that comes with flour IN it, like Baker's Joy - it makes your life much easier! If you do grease and flour, you should actually "flour" with cocoa powder, as then it'll match the color of your baked product.  You can use 2 loaf pans (It's the holidays. These will ship well.).

Melt the chocolate in a double boiler - or a steel bowl held over a pot of boiling water, if you're me. Just make sure that no water gets into the chocolate or it will seize up, and then you will have wasted chocolate.

Put the instant espresso and the cocoa powder into a heat-proof measuring cup, then add enough boiling water so that you have one cup of water + instant espresso + cocoa powder. Stir until the latter two dissolve. Add bourbon and salt, and let cool.

(Without the salt, that is one awesome drink. To be served at my next party over ice, perhaps?)

Beat the softened butter until it is nice and fluffy. Add sugar and mix until combined. Then add the eggs one at a time. Make sure that each egg is mixed well in the batter before you add the next egg. Mix in the vanilla extract, baking soda, and melted chocolate.

With your mixer on low speed, beat in about a third of that delicious espresso-cocoa-whiskey mixture. When the liquid is absorbed, add half the flour. When the flour is absorbed, add another third of the espresso-cocoa-whiskey mixture. When the liquid is absorbed... well, you get the picture, right? Add the other half of the flour, then the remainder of the espresso-cocoa-whiskey mixture, making sure that each addition is absorbed into the batter before continuing. You should end with the liquid.

Scrape the batter into your prepared pan and smooth the top. Bake until done! Ok, fine. Until a cake tester inserted into the cake comes out clean. Oh, you want time. Depending on your oven, about 70 minutes or so. Loaf pans will take less time; start checking after 55 minutes.

Transfer the cake, still in its pan, to a rack. Let it cool for about 15 minutes, then unmold onto the rack. At this point, you can sprinkle the cake with more bourbon, but I would definitely skip this step if you're bringing it to a work party, unless you don't mind being labeled an alcoholic. Sift powdered sugar over the cake when it is cool.

This stores very well if you wrap it tightly.

Cookies, not cake...

So maybe I lied, I am not okay with not having cake on our blog yet.

Pies, cookies, risotto (?), but no cake. My sanity hangs on a broken hinge until this situation is rectified.

These are simple chocolate chip cookies that I obsessively bake until they are barely cooked through so they retain their perfect soft chew.

Martha Stewart's Soft & Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe:

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 cup packed light-brown sugar
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
2 large eggs
2 cups (about 12 ounces) semisweet and/or milk chocolate chips

Oven = 350. Don't wait. Turn it on!

Dry ingredients - mix them up, razzle dazzle them in a bowl and make sure it isn't a pile of flour with salt and baking soda dashed on top.

Sugar (both kinds) & Butter = heaven. Spend some time with them, mix them together with an electric mixer, fluff them, love them. Don't eat the butter and sugar, it is hard. Don't.

If you don't want a gross mixture of slime on your wall... turn your mixer down a smidge and add the eggs and vanilla. Don't use cold eggs, room temp is best.

Right, so apparently butter, sugar, eggs and vanilla isn't quite enough to make cookies.

Toss in the dry ingredients that you nicely mixed together earlier (right?). When you get it all in there and you have the best part of the cookie dough, go ahead and ruin everything by folding in the chocolate chips. Yes, I am a weirdo. The chocolate chips are not the best part.

Parchment paper is pretty awesome, try using it instead of plopping cookies directly onto a cookie sheet and reap the benefits of delicious cookies.

I like cookies that make people think they are not eating a lot when they have two or more. Somewhere between big cookie (oh, I'll have one!) and little cookie (may as well eat 5).

They take approximately 10-12 minutes in my oven to turn out just right, but keep an eye on yours to make sure you're not overcooking them. Once they've turned crispy brown on the top you've gone too far if you want to maintain the chew factor.


Some basic changes and tips:

Do not pack the flour into a freaking measuring cup. That makes disgusting cookies, and is not the correct way to measure anything dry.

Use a bit less baking soda (why do recipes constantly call for too much? It tastes gross!)

If you like your baked goods a little salty add a pinch more - I do.

Don't use cheap chocolate chips.


There is nothing extraordinarily special about these chocolate chip cookies, but they tend to disappear rather quickly...

What I did with all that squash...

With about half of that chopped-up butternut squash, I made butternut squash risotto. (Yes, I know. Not cake. Someday, there will be cake.) I didn't follow a specific recipe, but rather combined bits and pieces from Simply Recipes, Martha Stewart, and Chez Panisse (found at Wednesday Chef).

I really don't understand why people are so intimidated by making risotto.  I find it very easy to make - you just have to have patience - don't turn up the heat too high and stir it every once in awhile. the ingredients aren't even that fancy - I always have arborio rice, chicken stock, and parmesan on hand - so I'll include whatever additions (in this case, the squash, obviously, but I also like mushroom risotto. I once made it with spinach and peas, and there is nothing ever wrong with risotto milanese). The one thing I won't do is add cream to my risotto - if made properly, I don't think there's any need for it. Also, most recipes tell you that you need to have your stock warming on the stove as you add it. I am lazy, and I totally skip this step, pour the stock in cold, and so far everything's been fine (I think - nobody's complained yet).

Below are the rough proportions I used, as I didn't measure anything.

(I still haven't figured out what to do the with the other half of the squash.)

Butternut Squash Risotto
 4 Tablespoons butter
3-4 cups of finely chopped butternut squash
1 onion, also finely chopped
A handful of fresh sage leaves (I like a lot of sage, especially when paired with butternut squash), chopped
1.5-2 cups arborio rice
2/3 cup white wine
4 cups of chicken stock (you can, of course, use vegetable stock to make this vegetarian-friendly)
1 cup freshly grated parmesan
salt

Melt the butter over medium heat in a medium-sized saucepan. Add the chopped squash, onion, and half of the sage. Cook until the onion becomes slightly translucent.

Add the arborio rice. Let the rice toast for a couple of minutes - this is an essential step! Add the wine and stir occasionally. When the majority of the wine has been absorbed, begin adding the stock about 1/2-2/3 cup at a time. Make sure to to let most of the stock absorb before adding some more. Continue adding broth until the rice is tender to the bite. You may not use all of the stock - make sure to taste along the way! You don't want mushy risotto.

Stir in the parmesan and the rest of the sage. Salt to taste. When serving, garnish this with some whole sage leaves, if you have them, and perhaps a sprinkling of parmesan. Aside from chopping up the squash, I think the whole process took me around 40 minutes. This was enough for 4 to 6 people.

One hour spent dicing squash...

Because I was too lazy to take out my food processor, I diced (more like finely chopped) a butternut squash by hand while listening to the likes of Journey and Tiffany. It really did take an hour. In my defense, it was a large squash. I may have also been singing along to the music.

Crumble Top Apple Pie

Don't mind the tennis ball, this pie was delicious.

I've been out of practice, letting other obligations steal time away from creating flakey pie crusts and tart fillings. Thanksgiving was the perfect excuse to break out my new kitchen aid and explore making pie crust with my ridiculous 14 cup Cuisenart.

For lack of better choices in the Norfolk supermarkets, I used Braeburn apples. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but the pie was favorably reviewed by my picky husband (known to say things like, "some bites were delicious" after sampling a dish).

I am somewhat disappointed that the first post on this blog is a pie rather than a cake, but I think I'll recover from the cognitive dissonance...